Tiny hair, Ice and BeerAuthor: Heather | Category: family
I’d really forgotten what it was like living with a man! I’ve spent almost 3 years with it just being my kids and me. So, I haven’t had to deal with/put up with men’s bullshit stuff.
Like WHY when they shave do you (that being me because I can’t stand the sink looking like I emptied a bucket of hair all over it) end up picking up tiny little hairs for FOREVER? And it’s not easy little hairs that want to get cleaned up. They are the little fuckers that like to hide in crevasses and when you try to get the little fuckers they decide to stick somewhere else in the sink. Yeah, I had forgotten how much this drives me fucking crazy!
I could go on and on with a list of the things that men do in general that drive me crazy but, AF reads this blog and I don’t want him to think I don’t like living with him. (because I do, I just don’t like picking up tiny little fucking not want to be cleaned up hairs….LOVE YOU SWEETHEART! ;)
My sister wrote me an e-mail on Friday basically saying, “What the fuck woman? Your posts have been pretty lame lately! You know you are messing with my schedule when you don’t post something by 9am. And what the hell happened today?”
So, I called her up and basically said, “What the fuck woman? Don’t you know that I’m one busy ass woman? And that AF’s brother just got here? And I’m lucky if I have time to fucking breath let alone post anything substantial!”
And she was all like, “HEE HEE. Seriously, you are messing with my schedule!”
And I am all like, “HEE HEE. Fuck you.”
So, here you go sister of mine. A substantial post!
My F-ing car wouldn’t start this morning because it’s -18 below zero. And we have soooo much shit in the garage that there was no way I could fit my car in it. So, the kids were an hour late to school because I had to drive AF’s jeep. Which is really weird to drive because I’m use to driving a mini van. And all of the streets were a sheet of ice. So, it was like the scariest drive ever in the human race of driving. And all I really want to do right now is cuddle up with a blanket in front of the fireplace and watch television. But, I can’t because, I need to get this posted by 9am Pacific time!
It’s actually been a blast having AF’s brother here! He has such a different life and looks at our life with fresh eyes. Here are two really funny things that have happened:
#1. On our way to pick up Mr. P. from school he saw a school bus. And said in his broken English to me, “Simpson’s, no real?”
I said, “That’s a school bus. It picks up kids and takes them to school and then back home.”
He said, “I thought no real. Only on Simpson’s.”
So, then when I got to Mr. P.’s school and he saw 10 more buses, he was totally amazed.
#2. He is also completely amazed that the drinking age is 21. In Argentina it’s perfectly normal for them to start drinking wine about 10 and other liquor at about 14. PERFECTLY normal !!! So, he was dumbfounded when I told them that if I let Mr. P. have a drink and someone found out about it, that I could loose my kids and even go to jail. “Crazy” was all he could say about that. But, if he thinks that he is getting wine or beer from me he is the “crazy” one!