This is what greeted me this morning. God I love Colorado!
Here’s how Medusa and Aurora greeted the day:
”I’ll get that tail if it’s the last thing I do!”
”Oh, you think so!”
”Yeah, I really think so!”
If there were an award for Slacker of the Month I would be the winner. And since I haven’t been tagged, memed or anything of that nature I am giving myself an award…..Slacker of the Month.
Because, I’ve been a complete Slacker!
I’ve been lucky these past two weeks to even briefly read the blogs that I love. And even more lucky if I have a moment to comment on those blogs I love. I know that I should give myself some slack….I have been moving. But, it still makes me feel quite guilty! Now why is that? Why should I feel guilty? AF tells me to not worry about it. But, that’s me, a worry wart.
This weekend was just as busy as ever. With Hockey games to attend, wrestling matches (an all day one on Saturday) to cringe at, entertaining six children (because we haven’t had the time to hook up the wii and playstation, so they were bored out of their minds), trying to somewhat organize the house and get everyone’s room the way that they would like it. But, to top off all of that, AF’s brother is coming to visit from Argentina! So, I was trying to figure out some space for him too! Yep….you heard me right! Soon we will have 7 children!!!! No scratch that, we will have 4 teenagers, 2 pre-teens, and one Diva!!! AHHHHH!!!! So, if you hear about this weird woman in Colorado who went screaming out of her house one day and was taken to the loony bin, you’ll know it was me. And you will know that I will be perfectly happy having the quiet solitude of a white room.
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Needless to say HASAY was non-existent in my house hold this week again! I’m a slacker in that respect too. The treadmill is sitting in the garage (out of storage at least). The kids bedrooms were more of a priority this weekend then carrying in the treadmill and finding a cool spot for it. (Because I really want privacy when I am running on it, least the kids see my fat jiggle). I can just hear it now:
Jiggle Fat
Jiggle Fat
Jiggle all the way
Oh what fun it is to see mommy’s fat displayed….hey!
Yeah, that wouldn’t be fun.
Seriously…??? For the Spin Cycle this week I am supposed to write a “yearly” letter. You know like the ones you get in the mail this time of year and throw away immediately without even reading love to read about how wonderful so and so’s family was this last year. Gag!!! I’m mean SERIOUSLY GAG!!!
I remember my parents getting those letters when I was a kid. They were always from my dad’s side of the family (because he is the oldest of 5). But, my mom’s reactions to those “letters” were something to be desired and her ranting and raving about them made a huge impression on me as a child. So, I have NEVER even had the slightest thought of doing one myself. Because, anyone that is close to me already knows how my f-ing year went. I doubt seriously that my distant cousin, that I have never even spoken to, needs to know about how my year went and I really don’t care how their f-ing year went either. (We have a really close family 
can’t you tell?)
So here goes…..my very first never tried before stuffed in a fricken Christmas Card letter to family I don’t even talk to and don’t really care about!!!
Hello everyone! Happy Holidays!
I hope that this year brought much joy and love to you all and that the New Year brings even more joy and love your way.
This year has been very joyful for our family. We have just finished moving in with my fiancé and I am soon to be married again! He also has three children. What a blessing it will be to have six children!
This year also brought a new puppy into our lives. She is a St. Bernard and we call her Medusa. She is the sweetest puppy and Aurora our Labrador loves being a big sister to her and showing her the ropes, so to speak.
Mr. P. is growing up fast. He will be turning 17 this next year and will soon have his Drivers License. I can’t believe that I am the mom to an almost 17 year old. He has been lots of fun though and is doing well in school. He is also enjoying wrestling this year.
Mr. K. is also growing up fast. He is healthy and has now been cancer free for almost 6 years. Thank you for all of your prayers when he was sick. It really meant a lot to our family to know that he was in your thoughts. He loves school. He is also healthy enough to finally play a sport. He chose to play Roller Hockey this year and is really enjoying it.
Diva is turning into a little woman. And I really enjoy having a little girl in a house mostly full of boys. I am thankful that she hasn’t fallen into the Hannah Montana group and instead enjoys reading and watching movies from the 80’s. She loves school and is at the top of her class for reading and math. And her favorite thing to say to me is, “That’s totally cool”.
As for me, I have had a very busy year and have moved twice. I am excited to be engaged and look forward to spending my life with a wonderful man. I look forward to what the New Year holds for me and my children.
Happy Holidays and Happy New Year to you!
SEEEEE GAG!!! I hated writing that! It was torture! Pure Torture!! I even threw in a little mormonism into it… “gag me with a spoon”. (man I think I’m watching too many 80’s movies too!)
I’ve been sooo crazy busy! I didn’t even get a chance to post yesterday. Which is weird and I feel kind of guilty about that.
Anywho….I let Mr. P. drive home from wrestling practice last night……what what I thinking?
P: “Can I drive?”
Me: “Oh, Um, I don’t know if I have the patience for that right now.”
P: “PLEASE !!!”
Me: “Um, okay, just don’t kill us. I want to get home in one piece.”
P: (grinning like he just won the lottery) “SAAAAWWWWEEEET!”
Ok self. Deep breaths. You’ve done this before. He only has to take one left turn. Ok. Ok. Deep breaths. Frick why did I agree to this? Doesn’t this get any easier.Me: “Ok, pull out slowly from the parking lot.”
Me: “NO, I said slowly!”
P: “Ok, mom chill out.”
Yeah, chill out. That’s what I’m supposed to do when you peel out of the parking lot like some lunatic without looking. RRRRiiiight.P: “Which way are we going?”
Me: “Right as usual.”
Okay, we are at the stop light. I’m still alive. Ok. Light is red. Ugh, whiplash.Me: “Um, are you going to turn on your blinker?”
P: “Oh yeah.”
Oh, this is going to be fun. He can’t even remember to turn the blinker on.Me: “Take the turn slowly when the light turns green. And stay in the right lane.”
P: “K.”
I shelled out 400 dollars for drivers ed and he can’t even turn into the lane he is suppose to turn into?Me: “Straighten out, stay in your lane, your tooo close to the sidewalk, the speed limit is 40, no don’t slam on the brakes if you are going a little bit over, just take your foot off the gas peddle a little.”
Oh, dear Jesus, please let us get home. Deep breaths. Squeezing door handle. Look at his speed. Okay. All is well. Just have to go straight for 4 miles and 2 turns, then I’ll be home.Me: “STAY in your lane.”
Me: “RED LIGHT SLOW DOWN!!!!!”
My foot is pressing as hard as I can on the floor of the car. They really should make cars with brakes on the passenger side.Me: “HOLY shit. If you know the light that you are coming up to is already red you can slow down before you get up to it you know.”
P: ”OK, sooooorrrrrry!”
Me: “Just pay attention to what you are doing……your tooo close to the sidewalk again.”
Ok, two miles to go.P: “Where do I turn?”
Me: “Don’t worry about it I will tell you when we get closer.”
Oh shit, cars are slowing. Break lights are on. Mr. P. NOT slowing. NO more trying to remain calm. Start screaming like a banshee.Me: “AAAAHHHHHH……..BRAKE. BRAKE. BRAKE. Fucking BRAKE!!!”
Me: “God, why didn’t you slow down? Couldn’t you see that their brake lights were on?”
P: “Yeah, but I thought that they would start moving again.”
Me: “Um, someone was turning right in front of them they kind of had to stop so they wouldn’t hit them. Which means you have to slow down and sometimes stop too so that you don’t hit them.”
P: “Oh, sorry.”
Me: “Our turn is coming up at the next light. NO, not this one. The next one. But, after we pass this light then it will turn into a three lane road and you will need to make a lane change into the farthest right lane. Make sure you check your mirrors, and quickly look over your shoulder.”
OH SHIT, I hate lane changes. Why didn’t I remember that there was a lane change when I agreed to this? Ok, through light. Nope no cars. That’s good. Making lane change too quickly at an angle….Me: “SIDEWALK!”
Ok, all straighten out. Now to get him through this turn. Oh, great, he has to yield.Me: “Ok, you need to start slowing down and yield to on coming traffic. That means that you will have to stop until there is a break in traffic and no cars are coming. Make sure you are looking over your shoulder and watching what is going on in front of you at the same time so you don’t rear end the guy in front of you.”
AAAAhhhh, he did that perfectly. Deep breath.Me: “Ok, now you need to turn your blinker on and get over into the left lane as soon as possible.”
LA LA LA LA LA LA…….Saaaweet, he did that just perfect too.Me: “Good job. That was perfect.”
P: “Thanks.”
Me: “Ok, in about four blocks we are going to be turning left.”
P: “Ok, tell me what street.”
Me: “Lane check.”
Some sound proceeded to leave my voice that sounded like a mouse in heat…..Me: “LANE CHECK…..YOUR GOING TO HIT THE SIDEWALK!!!”
P: “Sorry.”
Me: “Ok, it’s this next light that you need to turn left. Turn your blinker on now. Start slowing down. Good. Now the light is green and no cars are coming so you don’t have to stop. That means you can go. Easy with the gas dear I don’t want whiplash.”
P: (Giggle)
Me: “Ok, now slowly turn into the driveway. Um, you can give it a little bit more gas than that.”
Ahhhh, I’m alive. Deep breath.Me: “Keys.”
P: “Thanks for letting me drive.”
Me: “Your welcome.”
Upon entering the kitchen with my knees still shaking AF asked me how it went.
Me: “I need a stiff drink.”
This week has already been a “barrel of fun”. It’s hard for me to believe that it’s only Fricken Tuesday. (shouldn’t it be like Thursday already?)
This will be a quick and easy post for you to read. I’m done I’m off to re-new my van plates because a cop car followed me for 10 blocks this morning and I about had a heart attack. (They are now 32 days past due.) I don’t want to go through that again. Though, who needs coffee when you have a cop following you for 10 blocks.
Conversation with Diva when I was in a foul potty mouth mood yesterday:
Diva: “What are we doing today?”
Me: “Oh, love we are going to run to the new house and then head back to the old house to clean. Then run back to the new house and get Mr. K. from school. Then we are going back to the old house to clean. Then we are going to pick up Mr. P. from wrestling practice at 6. Then we are going to go to a wrestling dinner that they are having. Then we are going back to the new house so Mr. K. can get ready for Hockey and so you can get ready for bed.”
Diva: “Wow! Well, where is the wrestling dinner going to be?”
Me: “At an all you can eat soup and salad place.”
Diva: “You mean I can eat all the Caesar Salad I want?”
Me: “Yeah”
Diva: “Oh, then I am going to eat soooooo much Caesar Salad I explode!”
Me: “Then you will be shitting Caesar Salad.”
Diva: (grinning from ear to ear) “You just said a bad word mommy.”
Me: “Sorry, I’m a little stressed.”
Diva: “No, don’t be sorry. (now she is giggling) I can just imagine shitting Caesar Salad!”
Oh what fun it is to have your words thrown back at you!